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December 24, 2012 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Worse than ugly Christmas sweaters

Christmas was pretty low-key. Easy.

Regular stuff: blue jeans, sweatshirts, and boots. Red dirt.

All that changed when she arrived.

(Not her fault – a product of her environment.)

But, determined to please and show acceptance, things changed.

Those that haven't been culled....yet....

Those that haven’t been culled….yet….

Reluctant purchases – so she’d feel at home.

Of (gasp) holiday sweaters.

Does anyone besides elementary teachers really wear these we fretted.

An extensive collection was necessary for holiday parties, different ones for Christmas Eve, and yet another for Christmas Day? (Is there a guide to the rules somewhere?)

What if it’s 80 as usual? (Wool is so scratchy).

How about a Christmas sweatshirt instead? No? Easier to wash. No? Oh, OK.

Next there was critical examination of lounge wear and pajamas.

There’s some rule all must be flannel in plaids or Santa red?

Not only mother daughter matching gowns with robes, but matching PJ’s for the menfolk, too?

Those Christmas morning outfits must match for the holiday family photos?

Oh, OK. It’s the season to be jolly.

And to make compromises to get along.

But you have to put your foot down sometime.

It’s those Christmas socks: Worse than ugly Christmas sweaters.

Big bird ones. (Magnet for those ankle biter kids crawling around.)

Ones with sparkles and jewels (No wise man would touch those.)

Ones with lights that flash and blink. (Dare get around spilled liquids?)

Even ones that sing. (And how do you wash those?)

They never wear out.

End up with as a lumpy pile in back of the drawer most of the year.

But, it’s once a year.

No big deal.

Besides, with boots, just smile and display a top edge if anyone asks.

Holiday socks?

Can toe the line there.

But, seriously.

This other thing. Really?

Asking too much?

Yes, you are.

Refusing to tell if wearing that special Christmas underwear.

Merrily, merrily Christmas cheer!

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge.



  1. robstroud / Dec 25 2012 12:42 am

    “Ones with sparkles and jewels (No wise man would touch those.)”

    They must make those hideous items because some wise “guys” do buy them for others.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:14 pm

      And don’t forget the Christmas ties! (although Jerry Garcia’s are always tasteful…) Thanks for stepping over to chat!


  2. PiedType / Dec 25 2012 12:42 am

    Funny you should mention crazy Christmas duds. I’ve been thinking a lot about those “Ugliest Christmas Sweater” contests of recent years … and so help me, when I was young, I’m pretty sure we all loved them, wore them proudly, and thought they were really “cool.” The Christmas equivalent of poodle skirts.


  3. rumpydog / Dec 25 2012 12:54 am

    One more reason why I’m glad I’m a dog! And no, I don’t wear Christmas sweaters! woo woo!


  4. braintomahawk / Dec 25 2012 1:29 am

    Right the ugly ones never wore out, the ones with the good tread lasted a month for me.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:21 pm

      We have found this dog is perfectly willing to “take care” of any socks that are out of their assigned spot. Really sad. shredded. darn. Thanks for sock-footing over


  5. BuddhaKat / Dec 25 2012 4:09 am

    After all, a creature must have SOME secrets, no?!?!? Such a blessing, though to share old and make new memories… may the holidays bring out the best in everyone and everything you meet… and may your heart be happy with love and peace to keep it warm!!!



    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:24 pm

      Thanks for your kind words…and extra warmth as a serious cold front stormed in yesterday. Hope your week is smilie and bright!


  6. jannatwrites / Dec 25 2012 5:11 am

    Cute post. I happen to like Christmas socks (I have some with gingerbread houses all over them.) No blinking or anything fancy, though :)) I wouldn’t dare ask about holiday underwear…I know a few people that would be more than willing to flash, whether they had holiday duds or not.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:28 pm

      My socks with the snow, fir trees, and bears are simply winter sockies…from the mountans (that was said convincingly, wasn’t it?) Oh, my. You are probably right about the underwear inquiries…especially after the eggnog and spiced wine makes a round. THanks for sock hopping over!


  7. shoreacres / Dec 25 2012 11:12 pm

    I vaguely remember those flashing lighted Christmas pins. Reindeer. Trees. Houses. You pulled a string and they blinked. Strange.

    I was given some socks once. They had trees, I believe. And there was that red plaid flannel nightgown. I actually loved that – very toasty and very handy up in the hill country. But lingerie? Hmmmm… Pine needles might be prickly, and sugar cookies – well, my rear doesn’t need any more of those. Santa just wouldn’t do, and it seems like it would be a shame (or blasphemous) to add the star. Nope – I’ll just wear red and green and call it a day!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:34 pm

      Just a classic dresser. Had forgotten about the lighted Christmas pins and necklaces…some even played music. (At least there weren’t laundry issue with those). People used to have plastic holly or pine needles with tiny pine cones – sort of Christmas corsages pinned on their coats to be festive a loooong time ago. (back when icicles were heavy)
      Thanks for socking a comment over here


  8. mybrightlife / Dec 26 2012 11:45 am

    Luckily it is too stinking hot where we are to be riddled with Christmas sweaters – but a good christmas bikini, or pair of board shorts may go down a treat!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:43 pm

      Oh, you have lucked out. It was 80 here Christmas morning – until a cold front stormed in late afternoon. (Those who insisted on wool holiday sweaters probably had the AC on high…and the fire place working, too, so it would feel like Christmas).
      The whole idea of Christmas swim wear is really worth a giggle. Thanks for paddling that over here


  9. Emma / Dec 26 2012 12:28 pm

    Merry Christmas. At least, those big, ugly, flashy socks are comfy.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:47 pm

      The socks’ decoration can be overlooked in that case (snow designs are very good until end of Dec?). But it is annoying when the decorations on the outside mean loops of strings/thread/yarn on the inside that catch on toes as you are trying to put the socks on….and then there’s the ones that are much too small and tight around the tops (like are these made to beanpoles or what?…do the makers think no one actually tries to wear them?)
      But a comfy sockie for the winter is cozy for sure.Thanks for socking it to us!


  10. Snoring Dog Studio / Dec 26 2012 12:53 pm

    I got pink plaid flannel pjs this year and I’m delighted. And I got some tasteful socks. But there’s always the thrift shop for those of us who got some ugly Christmas socks and sweaters. Just wait until the inlaws leave town before dropping them off. And be sure to get photos of yourself wearing them so that you can prove you appreciated them.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 26 2012 2:50 pm

      Apparently the “uglies” have gained a real following…there are ebay/mail order second hand stores that are doing quite well with them. Always glad when strays find a home. (Oh, good plan about the photos…must be gracious) Thanks for toe-ing over with a comment


  11. Kourtney Heintz / Dec 26 2012 6:22 pm

    I kinda think the socks are the least offensive. A nice pant leg can disguise them. But those sweaters. There’s no way around them. Unless you keep your coat on. 😉 Happy Holidays!


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 28 2012 12:02 am

      Usually it’s much too hot for the sweaters here. One thing, the socks can be pretty cozy and they are jolly! Thanks for toe dancing over with comment


  12. Beth / Dec 26 2012 8:14 pm

    Friends of ours invited us over for Christmas Eve and I was asked if I had a Christmas outfit (given up once I became a moody teen). No. Could I possibly buy a shirt and draw a Christmas tree on it? Errr… That’s when I found myself Christmas Eve day standing in HEB trying to piece something together with a woman who had adopted me. No antler headbands, elf ears or Santa hats to be found. This newly adopted woman offered suggestions, I bobbed, weaved, thought I had escaped her when she came dashing down the aisle with a holiday shirt. The best I could offer was a, “look at that – that’s not atrocious!” with a big smile. I made it out of there with no shirt in tow and then come time for the event I donned some poinsettia earrings and called it good.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 28 2012 12:04 am

      What a funny story. Poinsettia earrings! Perfect. – you tell things so well – maybe use this as a start for next Christmas post? Thanks for leafing a comment here


      • Beth / Dec 28 2012 1:32 am

        Great idea! And here I was moping around saying I didn’t have any blog ideas. Thank you!


  13. pnwauthor / Dec 27 2012 12:04 am

    You remind me of that scene from “Bridget Jone’s Diary” first movie, where the Colin Firth character shows up at a holiday party wearing a Christmas sweater his Mom gave him, with a reindeer or moose on it. Obviously, he’s just trying to please his type-A personality mother and feels embarrassed wearing that sweater… Holiday socks usually end up at thrift stores after the holidays.


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 28 2012 12:05 am

      If they are soft comfy socks, they have been know to fill boots after the holidays….cozy is cozy no matter the color! Thanks for dancing over to chat


  14. jmmcdowell / Dec 28 2012 11:19 pm

    Darn, somehow my family missed out on the tradition of Christmas sweaters and socks. 😉 But I do remember having fun when I was only a few years old by wearing my Christmas stocking around before it was filled by Santa….


    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 29 2012 5:35 pm

      Wearing Christmas stockings – cute…just slide around with one or borrow a 2nd one for a pair? We didn’t do sweaters or socks until new members joined the family (quite insistent on the tradition), anything to get along during the holidays. Thanks for spending some chat time here. Hope your new year brings lots of adventures and laughter.


      • jmmcdowell / Dec 30 2012 12:08 am

        I only wore the one. And it was huge—it covered my whole leg. I still put it out every Christmas, and it still fits—just much more closely. 😉 May your New Year be bright and inspirational (she says selfishly so there are more great posts to read).


        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 30 2012 4:27 pm

          My stocking is a bit narrow around the ankles to allow wearing (and I would have gotten yelled at). Sounds like we need to do a “show your stockings” post next year? (mentioning it now to get a leg up on the idea….) Thanks and Giggle on!


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