Christmas pining: a matter of difference
It was a mixed marriage.
Those did happen.
The tall and short of it.
She said violin
He called fiddle.
He preferring plays by Shakespeare.
She adoring Robert Burns poetry.
She a competitive bridge player reading books by experts for plans.
He bluffing each bridge hand with a poker face
It’s the opposites attract thing.
She dipped and flowed through ballroom dancing.
He allemande left through dance squares.
Together, they choreographed life.
Until Christmas
She was all traditional: deep Williamsburg green with red velvet bows, white candles, and holly branches. Classic. elegant.
He was multicolored stings of lights on the house, wide red ribbon wrapped on porch posts like candy canes – with a lighted Santa’s head floating disemboweled – or strangled – by extension chords.
All joy.
She was practical and fair (to the penny) about giving presents so as “not to show favorites”.
One big one and stocking ones was enough.(Don’t be greedy.)
And “presents should always be something you really wanted but wouldn’t buy for yourself.”
He always placed an apple and an orange in each stocking.
As a farm kid, those were luxury items since they weren’t grown on the farm.
Important you remember where you came from – and what’s important.
And NEVER socks or underwear as Christmas presents. EVER. (more childhood memories?)
Pacing through life differently, but pulling together.
One thing held in agreement: a pine tree is not a Christmas tree.
(Nor are silver aluminum ones.)
We grew pines: sappy, sticky, bushy.
It would be a Douglas fir:
Totally different smell.
Totally different soft short needles.
Totally special: from a different state.
With branches spaced apart, so hanging ornament could swing and be seen.
But the decorating styles.
She carefully placed the heavy silver icicles on the tree one by one while humming traditional carols.
He danced with the kids and flung globs of icicles at the tree: whole handfuls. All wildly shrieking, “Ho, ho, ho!”
Despite the cultural norm, we never went to church on Christmas.
“Leave room for all those who only go then.”
God knows who we are.
We’d pack into the car and drive to the country.
Small frame house with fireplace and wood stove for heat.
Water drawn by bucket from the well.
And a long way to walk in the cold if you needed the bathroom.
(There was a chamber pot under the kids’ beds at night, but no. Everyone would know.)
After the car was unpacked and fires started, we’d go sit outside.
In the cold,
On concrete steps or old rough benches.
He’d look up and say, “Look at all the stars. Couldn’t be a finer church than this. This is the way it was back then.”
And we’d sing a carol or two.
Loudly and joyfully.
No neighbors near and the animals didn’t mind.
Now, I pace preparations so it’s calm just before.
Select the perfect apple and orange for each stocking.
Carefully drape the mylar icicles one by one on the tree.
And then go outside late Christmas night.
The cool air.
The smell of pines.
The stars as the roof of the grandest cathedral.
Silent Night.
Just right.
Merry,
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
Discover more from Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
Subscribe to get the latest posts to your email.
Sounds like the perfect Christmas.
LikeLike
Those were very peaceful – really unplugged from the frenzy. Not such a bad thing. Glad you sung out a holiday note
LikeLike
Sounds perfect. Just like your writing style.
LikeLike
As teenagers, my cousins and I thought it pretty ho-ho-horrible. See it differently now. Thanks for ringing the Christmas bells in the comment section
LikeLike
Lovely. Evocative. Poignant. May it be blessed for you.
LikeLike
Thanks. Hope you have clear starry nights and peace.
LikeLike
Just yesterday I was just looking at some of the Douglas Fir trees on our property that would be perfect for Christmas. But I couldn’t bring myself to cut one down… knowing how majestic it’s destined to be. Still, I’ll look for some that are growing too closely together for their own wellbeing and harvest one. Merry Christmas!
LikeLike
It’s hard to cut down trees. We justified the fir because it was already cut and would have grown and gone to waste if we didn’t buy it. (or so we always said). Tree groups do have to be thinned to grow well. Hope you find just the right one – it sounds like a great tradition. Thanks for riding the sleigh over to chat
LikeLike
Sounds like all my best Christmases (with the exception of the house in the country). Maybe because we’re from the same part of the country? Add some nuts to fill out the stocking toes where the apples and oranges won’t fit.
LikeLike
I debated whether to include the nuts: pecans, walnuts- sometimes wrapped in aluminum foil – stuff literally did roll out of the stockings. Thanks for adding the finishing touch
LikeLike
“Deep Williamsburg green with red velvet bows, white candles, and holly branches” sounds perfect to me. But I also share with a house with a husband who likes some of the “jollier” decorations, too. Somehow, the decorations always work well together. 😉 Lovely post for the season!
LikeLike
We lived in Williamsburg when I was in 5th grade – had passes for the entire town – it was heaven for kids. And we did get to watch and talk to archeologists doing excavations – as interesting as if it had been in Egypt.
Maybe it’s the basic colors that are pretty uniform in most Christmas decorations that allow multiple styles to co-exist? Somehow a mix works.
Hope you are having a jolly holiday season. Thanks for decorating the comment section with a comment
LikeLike
Gives one the holiday spirit. 🙂
LikeLike
Smiles are the best decorations! Thanks for jingling along
LikeLike
Certainly does put one in the spirit. My mother still puts an apple and an orange in my stocking.
LikeLike
Didn’t people use fruits and nuts in decorations during earlier times? Victorian? (Hmmmm.Need to check that)
Thanks for gifting the comment section with a comment! Merry Christmas
LikeLike
You are very welcome. Merry Christmas to you as well.
They did use all sorts of natural elements brought in to decorate. Of course they didn’t have the luxury of brightly colored plastics that give off that sterilized chemical smell.
LikeLike
and those didn’t cause a rash…oh, except maybe the poison ivy…but anything red is appropriately seasonal, right? Well, maybe not the fires from the candles, but anyway, progress is progress, sort of. Thanks for adding the merry!
LikeLike
Aw hope the holidays are a lovely blending of family. 🙂
LikeLike
(and the Adams family does such lovely Christmas tangos – really wanted a pix of that Morticia and Gomez!) Thanks for decorating the comments section
LikeLike
Aw, this brought back a few good childhood memories… after the Christmas program we always had to perform in at the parochial school my siblings and I attended, the teachers would hand out brown paper bags with oranges, apples, and all sorts of nuts inside. As a kid I thought that was a weird thing to give a kid… I never realized it was from old tradition until I was much older. I liked this post… it made me smile and laugh.
LikeLike
Hope ya’ll have starry nights to enjoy. Thanks for adding some glittery shine here
LikeLike
I laughed and smiled all the way through reading this… this type of negotiating such disparities adds a sparkle to the festive season. They are such wonderful memories. I agree, never socks or underwear
as a gift but how wonderful was the world when an apple and an orange was a treasured gift, rather than a Nintendo DS….
The G.O. & I have a basic difference when it comes to Christmas decor… he likes me to put up & decorate the tree we found under the house years ago (last year we were travelling on Christmas Day so didn’t put it up – walking even late into the house was sad & empty) He invokes the him outside, her inside rule… and a few days later, I pack it up, which I currently indulge as we are stretched for time but I won’t forever, I prefer a more communal approach.
It’s the traditions, whatever they are, that make Christmas. We either have a light seafood dinner on Christmas Eve and a glass of sparkling for me… or go to the pub and indulge in rather too much Christmas cheer with the neighbours.
We like numerous small wrapped gifts under the tree rather than single big expensive gifts. We go to church on Christmas morning, even though it’s not our familial denomination, but because it’s a lovely old timber church 1 house up from us, and a small community tradition. Our Christmas lunch menu is much the same each year, and the G.O. must have stuffing. Afterwards we must have a nap 🙂
LikeLike
The past few years we traveled, too – and the house did seem a little bare – even with one tiny lighted tree placed within easy eyesight. When it was obvious this was the location this year, I had envisioned even the train around the giant tree….but Molly’s creative play has placed limits…and I’m OK with that (probably grateful). We will be having shrimp for Christmas – along with the turkey and stuffing…it looks like eating will be a day long event with time schedules…we’ll either walk along the beach or the marina – to wear out the dog. Nothing wrong with adding new traditions as things roll along – and it’s all supposed to be fun, so as soon as the tree gets done, I’ll relax.
Glad you found some holiday giggles. Thanks for sparkling over here
LikeLike
Weather & motivation levels pendig, we may go into town later in the day for a Christmas Day walk on the beach. A train around the tree… I like that 🙂
LikeLike
Interesting post. A bit like ED, the men in my family have never had anything to do with how Christmas is celebrated. Def women’s work. Stockings in my day were satsumas or clementines, walnuts, and new coins. Plus a few small presents. And a hugetree which we bought and decorated the Saturday before Christmas while listening to Christmas Carols on the record player. I liked it. Low key and quiet.
LikeLike
Sounds like my kind of Christmas. (We’ve got clementines sitting in the kitchen now) At this point, we’re avoiding the parking lots and shopping – the frenzy is too much. Besides much more fun outside – it’s cool and bright today – Cardinal pair singing like crazy near the bird feeder.We’ve been seeing huge numbers of birds flying over – and dropping into the wetlands at dusk. Another front on the way, and hope they all get on to their winter grounds ahead of the weather. Thanks for stopping by to hang a comment ornament here
LikeLike
I just realized I don’t remember any outdoor strings of lights during my growing up years. There was a lighted wreath, and electric candles in every single window, and a huge tree centered in the front window. It’s almost as though the idea was that what was happening inside was more important than…hmmm….you may have just witnessed the birth of a blog post. 😉
I was feeling a little – whatever – and wasn’t sure I’d go to the trouble of putting up the tree this year. But now it’s out in its accustomed place, and I’ll get it decorated. I still have some of the metal icicles from my childhood trees. We put them on and took them off one at a time, wrapped them carefully and used them from year to year to decade to decade… That’s half a century of use, at least. Speaking of thrift….
LikeLike
Things have changed a lot…so waiting for that post (hmmm…one simmering here about ivory snow flakes whipped into snow…did you do that? It was quite the fancy decorating trend for a bit)
My tree isn’t up yet (despite the attempt during the game) You know about the old icicles! I’m not sure those got saved from parents’ house. We were so careful with them for years!
Thanks for hanging that Christmas memory here!
LikeLike
The grand cathedral from Hubble. Excellent!
LikeLike
You appreciate the grand music, too. Thanks for caroling along
LikeLike
My parents always put apples and oranges in our stocking along with the ‘goodies’. I think they were more ‘special’ in their day. Such nice memories. And I love the star filled sky. Sometimes Christmas is best when quietly observed.
LikeLike
I’m beginning to think (from all the comments) we all take fresh fruits for granted these days and forget these were luxuries as people in the past mostly ate what was grown locally. Sometimes you have to look for Christmas…or stop and be still long enough to see it? Hope you have a merry lead-up to Christmas (and the warmth of the season lasts a long time). Thanks for pawsing to chat
LikeLike
Outstanding! I like it!
LikeLike
Living in BC, you are sure to see lots of starry nights. Thanks for your kind words and for stopping to decorate with a comment
LikeLike
This sounds like a lovely way to spend the holidays.
I enjoyed “Despite the cultural norm, we never went to church on Christmas.
“Leave room for all those who only go then.”
God knows who we are.” This sounds like something my grandfather would say.
LikeLike
Oh, as we grew older, how we did moan and whine about missing all the holiday sales. Now, an escape to the country sounds like a more peaceful way to spend the holiday. Thanks for jingling along.
LikeLike
I like this blog, and this post to, Happy you got freshly pressed 🙂
LikeLike
Cheered you stopped the sleigh long enough to chat – Wait. what? Fresh Pressed? Hmmm, that’s would be quite a Christmas surprise! Thanks for the heads up. Will have to check that out. Thanks again for adding to the holiday cheer
LikeLike
You didn’t get an email that you were FP’d?! Wow, get ready for some cramped fingers from replying! 🙂 Congratulations! It’s a great post from a great blogger, and you totally deserve the honor! 🙂
LikeLike
Really a surprise. Santa came early here. Thanks for all your encouragement and helping to decorate the comments section. (darn, now how ever will I get that favorite author’s outfit done by Sat. for the party?) Thanks again for all the merry cheers
LikeLike
I almost cried reading this post, it was so lovely and evocative of the perfect Christmas feeling of family and serenity and wonder. Or maybe I’m just having one of those days… 🙂
LikeLike
Glad something tickled your memories. Thanks for the kind words and for joining the merry chorus today
LikeLike
Just lovely. I am the product of opposites, too, and so I like to get my hair done, put on a fancy dress, and listen to Handel’s Messiah while wildly shrieking Ho, ho, ho! throwing gobs of tinsel on the tree and draping everything in hot pink garland.
Have a wonderful Christmas!
LikeLike
Anyone who wildly shrieks at Christmas and uses hot pink garland is totally appreciated here! Thanks for tossing a little tinsel this way
LikeLike
If I press my ear to my windowpane on the west coast, I think I can hear the Christmas harmony you are humming. So glad you found this united voice.
LikeLike
Now that a big harmony. Glad you heard the tune. Thanks for tossing a comment on to decorate this space
LikeLike
Hahahaha! Congratulations, philosophermouse!
And hubble pictures too! Wonderful.
LikeLike
Fans of Hubble welcomed – no better way to see the stars! Thanks for the merriment and for jingling along
LikeLike
Phil! And all this time I have been calling you Mouse!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! What a lovely piece. I loved reading about your traditions and the FP was well deserved!
LikeLike
Mouse is fine, friend. (Mousse, however, is fattening and not any mountains here to hike and work it off.) Always appreciate your kind words. Thanks for decorating the comment section today!
LikeLike
And dancing! OoooO! OoooO!
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing this with us. This is great to read and I really enjoyed it.
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping by to decorate the comment section! Merry on!
LikeLike
You are welcome and I hope you have a merry Christmas.
LikeLike
I like how the different decorating styles come together. (I had to laugh at the tinsel application because as kids, we were too impatient to hang it delicately. No tinsel got hung after we got a cat…not sure why cats choose to eat it anyway, even after they find it makes them sick!)
We never went to church on Easter or Christmas for the exact same reason you gave…that was my grandma’s thing.
LikeLike
Oh, the tinsel. Cats seem to think it’s spaghetti. Thanks for tossing a glittery comment this way.
LikeLike
Christmas with our big family now involves piles of gifts and so much glitter – but I MUST, put that small sweet orange in the toe of each stocking because that was the special treat at Christmas for my mom and her mom – and I carry on that simple tradition – from the heart of our heritage.
LikeLike
Sometimes it’s the small things that end up bring the most special. Glad you have a crowd to jingle along. Enjoy the holidays and thanks for wrapping up such a nice comment present!
LikeLike
This is one of those posts that makes me smile and glad of simple things like decorating for Christmas. Congrats on the FP! :=)
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping the sleigh here for a bit. Glad you got a giggle. It is supposed to be a merry season. Hope your Christmas is jolly and bright!
LikeLike
Oh do I remember the drive to grandma’s house in the country! The Potbellied stove, the outhouse in the back and the buckets in the back porch for the little ones. The smell of her cooking and the sound of a million kids packed like sardines into her tiny little home.
I recently wrote this; http://mountaingypsy.wordpress.com/2012/11/25/cowboygirl-boots/
when I came across the old picture of me on Christmas.
At 56 and single, I don’t do much in the way of decorating for Christmas. For me less is more, I keep it simple, candles (fake) in each window and that’s about it. I work many late nights and coming home to see the soft glow from my windows makes me happy.
My dad was the Midnight Mass man. AND Christmas morning too. He took great pride in taking his 5 daughters, dressed up and pretending to be angels (just for him) to church. I still go and will often see proud fathers just like he was. It means so much more to me than decorations and presents.
Thank you for a beautiful post and Merry Christmas.
Peace
LikeLike
Pot bellied stoves were cool. We had the oblong kind on 4 legs…and it had 2 places in top for cooking with pots/pans which we used when the whole family showed up for big meals. I remember the dressing was usually in a pot there. Even the littlest kid (me) knew how to carefully open the little door and keep the fire going…and there was that grate on the door to peek through to check on it. Funny, none of us ever got burned – we were careful. It was just ordinary daily life – sadly few get to experience that any more – sure makes you appreciate things.
Seeing a warm glow in the window is the best way to come home. Hope you have lots of merry this season. Thanks for stopping by to light up the comments section
LikeLike
Brilliant, But were you spying on our family christmas, you have got it down to a tee.Brought back a ton of memories.Very well written ;0)
LikeLike
Thanks for wandering over to chat by the fire – none to complain if it gets loudly merry…hey, it’s supposed to be a joyous season right? May the sky be clear and lots of stars decorate your nights.
LikeLike
Well! I know what you’re going to be doing for the next two days! We may have the most freshly pressed neighborhood in the world. 😉 Congrats!
LikeLike
It was quite a surprise – I didn’t see the email since I had decided to try and catch up reading blogs instead of emails. Quite stunned and honored. You’ve got to be next! Thanks for tossing some comment tinsel this way
LikeLike
Lovely. Merry Christmas 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks for delivering a kind comment to decorate this page. Jingle on!
LikeLike
This was an absolutely wonderful post–full of humour and love, Christmas cheer etc–but even better are your comments–I like your last sentence in each one–bravo for you–you’ve got the spirit as my family says whenever we see a house lit up to the nines!
LikeLike
Glad you slowed the sleigh down long enough to join in the holiday cheer. Yes the comment candy jar is simply wonderful. Thanks for singing along
LikeLike
I feel as though me and my husband will be this way. In the fact that we are total opposites…love is a strange thing. I really enjoyed this post though. Well written and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
LikeLike
That hanging Mistletoe does work some magic. Appreciate your kind words. Hope there’s lots of merry surrounding you and yours
LikeLike
A very touching post and a great read. Have a wonderful Christmas 🙂 Katie B
LikeLike
Thanks for decorating the page with your kind words. Jingle on!
LikeLike
Mouse …. just wanted to stop by to say congrats on Freshly Pressed … and it is nice to know that I was here before the honor. Well done!
LikeLike
Oh, so appreciate the regular neighborhood bloggers. FP was quite a stunner – and I’m honored and humbled. Thanks for hearing the music all along and for being in the local orchestra that creates such a complex tune. Have a ringing merry weekend!
LikeLike
BTW – now that your are FP, as one occupying the supreme throne of Non-FP Nation, you must shred your citizenship papers … however, your ties to we plebes may remain. Nonetheless, well done.
LikeLike
RC Cat: “While We commend Our staff for their efforts (when time obviously could be better used attending to Us), We are loath to have them burn any bridges…who knows how long said staff shall please Us. We prefer to have some locale to banish them to. So as one Realm Guardian to another, We request some sort of visa be available if needed. And We are quite miffed that Our own proclamations have gone unrecognized. It must be a plot. We shall seek an investigation. Regal paw wave has been raised in your direction.”
LikeLike
Really enjoyed this. You’ve got an elegant and really spare writing style and a great eye for detail. Merry Christmas
LikeLike
Thanks for stopping the sleigh long enough to jingle along!
LikeLike
Reblogged this on AshbourneVoice.
LikeLike
Glad you found something to tickle your brain here. Appreciate your kindness.
LikeLike
black n white
LikeLike
Not much else to say. Thanks
LikeLike
I enjoyed those visuals and smells. I can smell the holidays reading your post.
LikeLike
One of the best compliments ever. Christmas smells are the best memories. Tossing wistful thoughts of warmth and peace your way
LikeLike