Of course, it’s revenge.
No one would suspect.
Who could think badly of you?
Revenge. Good, good revenge.
That kill them with kindness for real.
For all those times spent driving and searching for just the right Halloween costume.
Do I look like Martha Stewart?
Yes, it is the right size.
No! You are not going out in that!
For all those birthday parties.
What? A simple verbal invite at the park won’t do?
No, there’s no reason to purchase boutique treats, homemade is fine.
For all the efforts ease their boredom and encourage socialization with play dates.
For all those hours spent practicing training, and honing those sports’ agility skills.
What’s a little (cough) cold or rain?
Yes, there is a God. He had someone invent laptops and tablets. So easy to balance on your knees.
For all those toys bought to replace the ones destroyed or simply left behind…somewhere. WHERE?
No, we are not driving back two states to get it.
It’s just like the other one! Look at it. Please. It’s just the same!
How much? It’s a toy, not jewelry.
For all those extra hours each trip takes and all the tedious preparations.
Again? We just stopped a little while ago.
It’s got to be here. Maybe it rolled under the seat? Look again.
You ate it all already?
Stay in the car. Stay in the car. No, you do not have to go in.
For always managing to get sick when it’s the most inconvenient
It’s after hours. They said to drive across town to this emergency clinic.
The medicine costs how much? What is it? liquid gold?
No! No! don’t jiggle my arm – if I spill this I’ll make you lick it off the floor!
For crushing all those fantasies of a home featured in a magazine.
Guess who really isn’t potty trained.
The throw pillows? Thrown. Sometimes even Febreeze can’t get out the smell.
Oh, don’t all those scratches and bangs just make it look vintage? Convince me. Please.
For how they restrict our lives.
For forced behavior changes.
For slimmer bank accounts
So treat them with kindness.
No one will suspect it’s a plot to quietly shorten their lives.
No one could ever complain or think you’re a bad person.
Dog training seems to have gone over to the dark side.
Instead of training owners to use “calm and assertive” – or even that “teacher voice”, bribe the dog with treats. (Besides it makes them adore you, the food source.)
Apparently, some clever dogs figure it out pretty quickly: “this one’s got food – and I can get it.”
And this method (it’s a ‘salary” not a bribe) works well for the willing dog and consistent owner with lot of time….and treats.
(But should you have to run when the treat pouch is empty and Cujo isn’t done?)
There’s a risk involved – and it’s not always being tackled by a determined dog.
Quietly observing the classes, it looks like the
overindulgence excessive “training” is turning pooches into chubs. They are waddling in – performing so well. All for those treats!
So what’s the deal, dog owners?
So eager to have the “best” dog in class?
He’s just so cute – and who can resist that doggy face?
(Don’t you have eyes? That tum’s almost on the floor. Almost like Obie, the 77 pound dachshund.)
Or something more sinister?
Having second thoughts on pet ownership and quietly hoping for your life back?
(Sorry, kids, this breed doesn’t seem to live that long.)
Of course there’s that old saying about dogs looking like their owners….there’s that obesity epidemic.
Need to research this a bit more, but not now.
Time for a jog – the both of us!
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
Fattest Dogs in Denver. Some real chubbies need to get their hiking booties on? Look at these tubby dogs!
Morbidly Obese Dachshund was being ‘Loved to Death’. Article and more video of Obie (For Today Show video, click Obie’s name in post above.)
More wandering thoughts on this topic (which you can totally ignore):
It started with adults: foods to make people feel good. Even one named “hugs“: “milk chocolate hugged by white chocolate” so you can get that warm “I am loved feeling” anywhere anytime! Emotional highs. Followed by emotional meltdown from all the weight gained. Oh, well, everyone is larger now, right? It’s OK. Here have a special cupcake – it’s small! Just cut down on the next meal….
Of course all that spilled over to the kids. Cranky toddler? How about a sugary drink or coke in a bottle? “Be good and you can have a treat!” Sad? Sit down and have a cookie. Teachers want to keep kids attentive and toss candy for right answers. Now the kids are fighting obesity,too
So, in the natural order of things, stands to reason fat pets are to be expected?
I’m all for positive reinforcement, and catching kids and dogs doing good.
But constant rewards leads to unreal expectations? (And create an unreal elevated sense of self-worth in kids..at least they don’t bite like dogs…until they are teenagers, anyway.)
Only behaving for goodies – which even trainers say dogs do get over requiring a change to “high value” treats?
Hmmm, verdict’s still out on this one.
Note from the German: Do what works for you, but perhaps a little caution and restraint, too? And a little more exercise!