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October 17, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Vegetable Invasion. (Could get mushy.)

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Always vigilant ©

Dear German

I hate to bother you, but it’s making me nervous. It looks like an invasion.

Recently the neighboring realms offered shelter to children fleeing the dreaded Chick-among-us. The grateful orphans brought samples of their traditional vegetables with them – to share – and as a memento of home lands.

The festive orange vegetables brought smiles to all.

Suddenly, not so charming.

Stunned to realize the vegetables seemed are taking root and are spotted everywhere.

Pumpkins in yard. all rights reserved. copyrighted. No permissions granted

There they are. Putting on a happy face for the world. ©

Buried Up to their necks…as if trying to stay out of the way.

Inconspicuous – or insignificant. Benign. Silent.

Offering no threat. Only broad smiles.

Kudzu probably started out the same,” snarled a miffed RC Cat when the vegetables were brought to her attention.

She immediately issued directions to secure her Mousies’ safe house.

And said she’d keep vigil. (She says it only looks like she is napping in the sunny spot. A ruse to confuse the veggies.)

Unsure if she is completely nuts I am the only defense, I continue to walk with great alertness and an air of authority.

My paws itching to squash any veggie threat.

While the veggies are perky and festive – and possibly make the orphans feel less homesick – their numbers are increasing each day.

Each must be considered a possible agent of orange veggie invasion.

Halloween pumpkins in yard. All rights reserved. No permissions granted. Copyrighted

Huddled bravely, a family beaming congeniality. ©

RC says news of them is a bit flat.

She feels some look so stiff and rigid because the damp soil is giving them arthritis.

Or crawly things in the dirt are terribly disturbing to their undercarriage,

Could they simply wish to appear brave and able to endure hardships in hope of being accepted?

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Formally dressed. Awaiting HRH’s summons? Rock solid grin ©

One has set up camp on the porch.

An ambassador patiently waiting acknowledgement.

That lump of a cat, the neighbor, Sasha, has been seen sitting by it. Chatting?

Or practicing mind reading?

Playing an idiot version of charades more likely.

They both seem as smart as potatoes probably have much in common: absence of thoughts and little ability to move around due to their life style or, in attempt to be kind, genetics.

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Remember Shasha? Disturbing, I know. She can move. Or so we assume. She’s been seen in different places. RC Cat scoffs that devoted mousies roll her from location to location. ©

RC is aware of the Occupy Porch Initiative.

A gutsy intrusion, all agree, but HRH says this veggie appears to be stoned, so ignore it.

Not certain that is wise, but it hasn’t made any attempt to turn or look in the window.

An attempt to appear vulnerable and passive to reassure he comes in piece, maybe.

3 conspiring pumpkins. No permissions gratned. All rights reserved. Copyrighted

And what are they up to? Far too jolly not to be conspiring.©

German, what I haven’t told RC Cat is what I saw this morning around the corner.

While most of the veggies seem happy and harmless, these new ones look like they are up to something.

Sinister somehow.

And one appears to have ruling designs!

pumpkin with crowned skull face. All rights reserved. No permissions granted. copyrighted

That’s a crown, right? What intentions are these? Should RC be warned?©

As you have experience dealing intruders and those of questionable purpose, any guidance in this matter would be appreciated.

Meanwhile, I shall continue my patrols.

Yours in paws. (Paw waves)

Molly, the Marvelous.

More spooky stories and mysteries of the Realm:

And who is The German? Her story starts here, then packs up her toys, but still sends correspondence and advice. (and for some reason she knows Trouble Makers Wear Plaid…..)

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Something’s in the wind.©

October 16, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Lookin’ good, good lookin’

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Seriously stuck on you. ©

Hey good lookin’. What’s cha got cookin’? That’s what some gals were saying viewing a “Most Eligible Bachelors” feature in a magazine recently. Pretty, poised, and polished.  Definite keepers.

Take this one guy. (Please take him…Oh, you’ll see.)

Mid 30’s, owns a company. Items manufactured overseas. Well, that’s smart, right? Lower costs mean more profit. An astute businessman. Looking good!

What the magazine neglected to mention was that he lives at home with his mom, drives his mom’s car, and if he’s going to be out late, he has to call home and tell his mom.

Exactly what is this one eligible for? (Honey, listen to your gut. Run.)

Molly is keeping an eye, well, a nose on what’s important in these pictures.

She’s making sure all hope doesn’t go down the drain.

Understands about being an underdog.

And abandoning all hope.

Want to see what’s up? Join the pack.

Look here.

Chasin’ down a good lookin’ dream.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

(Look out! Will an odd invasion leave a bad taste in the Realm? Find out soon…..)

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Looking good. No leaks yet. Hope still intact.©

October 14, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Muses or Dunderhead? Silly contrarians.

Engineers can be so discouraging.

Rules and rigid formulas dictating form, therefore, existence.

Muses know better.

exotic magician's assistant reclining./Fred Bancroft magician poster. 1895.Springer & Welty Co./LoC/

How amusing to toy with them.(1895.Springer& Welty/LoC/USPD/

Sketched out a foil: the bumblebee.

Impossible by design, yet flies anyway.

Lightly painted the thinnest air: Monarch butterflies

Short life spans and long wearying journeys against the winds. Yet, Monarchs soar finding shelter and warmth among each other.

Inspired with mere words: peaceful umbrellas in the streets of Hong Kong.

An engineered society too inflexible. Humble petitioners with only social media and their courage.

(Get the picture? Photography blogger from there: That’s how I see the world)

Prying open a crack in the giants’ fortress walls: an author’s haven emerging.

The Great and Powerful behind the Emerald City’s curtain? Laughingly sending that poor Dorothy Gale on impossible tasks?

Click those ruby slippers with a little help from friends and their friends and their friends….

Down the yellow brick road, writers will tell the tale.

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This post is not amusing! Do something, dunderhead. I am surrounded by dunderheads. (Not a muse).©

Muse’s best work? Laughter.

Sign in front of a new local Spa: “Free car wash with massage.”

Mercy, Muse, mercy,

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Elegant woman smoking cigarette. (Bebe Daniels /1920 Motion Picture Classic mag./US

Classic. True Muses never fade.(1920/US PD/


October 13, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Grim Reaper measures a yard

My yard has a death wish.

No hiding it any more. Useless to try to talk it out of it.

Reel lawnmower.Kallerna/

Some remarks are cutting, but certainly not to die for. (Kallerna/

Played all the regular excuse cards gathered from sidewalk discussions over the years:

Raceway for big footed dogs.

Grubs are a part of nature.  Stupid birds aren’t eating fast enough.

The drought’s killing everything. Water rationing, you know.

All the hurricane rain sogged the ground and squeezed all the oxygen out of the soil.

Who forgot to turn on the sprinkler system timer when we went on vacation?

We’re thinking about putting in a new flowerbed there.

Volleyball/basketball court

Too many dogs visiting the same spot over and over.

Color coordinating for autumn look.

vintage couple.1918. Film."Clay God" /US PD:exp.CR, artist life+70/

Do you think they bought it? Quick, run to the car without making eye contact. (US PD/

Oh, raised eyebrows. Walk away quickly before what’s next: a litany of suggestions.

I nervously watch the calendar urging the weeks to run swiftly into October and winter. Then who can snort when the explanation turns to “Oh, that’s part of the Halloween decorations. Dead grass for a graveyard theme. Goth.”? Some observant troublemaker will point out we said that last year, but decorative headstones never appeared.

We’ve always counted on homeowner turnover.

Poster for 1867 Automaton lawn mower by Ransomes, Sims, and Jefferies/,artist life/

Dream on. (1867/USPD/

No doubt the grass squares were disappointed upon arrival. Probably dreamed of being part of a pampered estate. Anticipated being fretted over on a golf course. Expected museum quality nurturing while embellishing the emerald green rolling lawn of a public building. Only to be stomped into an uninspired place of driveways and sidewalks – with dogs.

Lost dreams grow despair, but shriveling up, turning brown, and dying is overly dramatic.

If you’re trying to embarrass us in front of the neighbors, forget it. Don’t delude yourself. Lesser turf than you has tried that.

And don’t be naive enough to listen to that weed saying a strike could get you moved to nicer digs. That one has ulterior motives.

Really. After all we’ve done for you. Regular feedings. Even Winterizer. Winterizer – at the right time of the year! Trims sharply clipped as needed.

Simply don’t know what this anti-growth stems from.

Guess they were right after all: indulging in grass leads to bad attitudes.

Shorter days welcomed. Darkness is a problem yard’s best friend.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Bike with cylinder lawnmower/B.Jankuloski/

Multi-tasking: spin class meets landscaping class. (B.Jankuloski/




October 10, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Gadgets of devious distractions.


The fire ants and roaches have been strangely silent recently. Is that cat grinning more than usual?

Disturbing oddness.

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Connected ©

Some decision that enough is enough?

Time for another in the driver’s seat. Hand over the remote.

Quietly rearranging the food chain.

Who would have the nerve?

Zeus? Thor? The Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz?

Gasp, Mother Nature? (No, she wouldn’t. Couldn’t. She’d be more like a desperate Mom tossing toys to distract a toddler while getting a project done.)

No, the puppet master must be much colder and close to the power stream.

American magician Harry Kellar.1897 Strobridge Litho.Co/LoC/

Things aren’t always what they seem. (1897/USPD/

Worrisome gadget distractions. Entertainment or something more sinister?

Perhaps the Tour de France was a trial run to see if a devious plan could work.

In the middle of the race, spectators jumped directly into the race route – their backs to the rapidly approaching bike riders – to take selfies on cell phones.

Collisions by angry bikers narrowly avoided as selfies were upload to FB.

Obviously easy to lure humans into dangerous situations. Let them take themselves out. 

Woman on plane.Breiting Wing Walkers /US Pacific Command.Sgt.M.R.Holzworth/Flickr/

Are you sure Fitbit says this exercise ramps up activity and burns calories? (USPC/Sgt.Holzworth/

No? Consider Extreme Selfies

“Outlaw Instagrammers: Daredevil photographers” risking all to attract followers and “likes”

Then there’s car voice-activated infotainment systems for phone calls,radio, social media…

(Like driving skills are totally mastered by all so driver attention is free to turn elsewhere.)

It’s natural for a person to turn directly towards a “voice” when trying to communication.

Add a car system voice repeating “Command not understood” or “Command not found” and the result is enraged drivers screaming at the piece of dashboard plastic – ignoring stop signs, street lights, other cars, curbs, and trees.


So much for the human instinct for self-preservation.

Being set up for self-destruction in a final elimination round.

Mr Wizard Show. Pre1978. NBC/US

What can be made of all this? (Mr Wizard Show.NBC/US PD/

But who – or what – has such designs?

Samaritan? (Where is Finch when you need him? Bear still seems human loyal. Whew.)

Molly’s Extant son? (He’s pretty confused – and seems jealous of Ethan.)

A consortium perhaps – a Rise of the Machines? (The New Yorker has valid points)

Could drone on about humans facing competition in employment lines.

SpaceX smart guy Elon Musk wonders if eliminating email spam is only batting practice for AI. (But he can afford to speak up. He’s well-connected to Tesla wonder cars.)

Web inventor Berner-Lee warns “Computers are getting smart We’re not.”

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Defensive wing. ©

Mother Nature might step in, having some fondness for humans.

Constantly cleaning up after them.

Destroyed lines of power before.

She may already be preparing with hawks flying practice drills.

Meanwhile try to assure the bugs that the insecticide in your garage is archaic – an antique. Just for looks.

And give the cat some extra food.

Never know who will end up in the trenches with you.

(Please, please not this spider army )

Totally distracted,

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

Lassie in NYC (1955-1956)Batten,Barton, Durstine, Osborn/US PD:,no cr notice/

“On the way home we need to stop for some Greenies. The office was stressfully yappy today. New World Order. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”(1955.Lassie in NYC/Batten,Barton, Durstine,Osborn/US PD/

October 8, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Paper thin thoughts

Parma under sail. Villiers/NMM, Greenwich/PD released/

Lofty look.(Villiers/PD/

Uninterrupted – except by necessity – a paper list unfolds.

Strength (Yet, to alleviate stress, must be able to disengage easily.)

Longevity (Endless and forever only a misty dream?)

Required. Much desired. Still list refined along these lines:

Environmentally conscious. Green. (In case there are visitors.)

Beauty mentioned. (Of course. How could that be overlooked?)

Gentle. (It’s just the era we’re in.)

Always aware of the dotted lines. (Do any really notice?)

Smoothly flowing. Layered, but rolling as one.

sails as seen from below.Tropenmann/PD released/

Wind blown in life (PD/

Sturdy to meet the challenge. (Designed for functionality from the beginning.)

Tough enough for the job.

Yet fragile enough to melt after work.

Sorely missed when gone.

(Who hasn’t wept when, seemingly endless, it unexpectedly was?)

Once cherished as luxury.

Now how absurd that thought. No possible way to exist without.

A human right. (Certainly makes one feel more human.)

Although sometimes a source of disagreement. (How this to be presented to company?)

toilet paper roll. Coetzee/US PD/

There’s an art to it.(PD/

Toilet paper observations and the tissue side of life.

Sheets to the wind.

Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge

sailboat. Moreton Bay, 1905.Oxley Lib.Queensland/PD/

Simple joys.(1905.Oxley,Queensland/PD/

On a roll? A few giggles:

  • When/where did the first toilet paper appear? Some time later, Joseph Gayetty created the “modern” commercial product in the US, but it was different. There are /were other options – depending on country, weather, and social customs. (ask any hiker) Piece some together here.
  • Toilet paper wars. Really. Kimberly-Clark vs P&G over truth in advertising. National Advertising Division of BBB declares ads misleading.  “Scraping Bear Bottom” (And I didn’t make that up)
  • VIDEO. It’s all about their softer side? Wall Street Journal. Major brands facing tough competition from store-brand toilet paper.(2013)
  • Are you with Jay Leno or Ann Landers? Would be engineers take a scientific approach. “Over or Under? The science of toilet paper orientation.”
Charmin bears. youtube screen shot

As bare as they get. (Charmin Bears from YouTube video. Yes, you can watch all their commercials on YouTube or on their website)



October 6, 2014 / philosophermouseofthehedge

Bob: Seventeen. Right passage.

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Simple. Life. Yes. No. Stay. Go. ©

Morning delivers cold pieces of bare truth.

Neighbor teen tall, but inside small.

Stunned. Giddy.

She’s liked enough to be trashed.

Life brighter.

Small bits always remembered.



More Bob here.

house and yard toilet papered IMG_3498

Explanation? Bob unconcerned. (Staff: Fall prank by high school kids. A show of acceptance into the club/group.) ©


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