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November 21, 2012 / philosophermouseofthehedge

HRH’s calming pawclamation

As RC Cat of the Realm, We feel it imperative to address the recent mystery disturbing Our subjects. Totally oblivious With wise patience and insight We thought it best to ignore  paws with mousies to see if the odd incidents were part of a pattern.

Superstitious hairball knots are probably being shed by that Persian of the neighboring realm. Exotics are known for creating drama simply for amusement.

In Our wise experience, We have found that there is a logical explanation for everything.

OK. We are up. Our presence was requested for…?

Thus this being Tuesday morning, We were rudely rolled off the foot of the bed perkily leaped to Our duty early this morning and noted there was a great amount of rushing around by staff.

This did not unsettle Us as the suitcases were not creating an obstacle course in the room.

We smartly curled up out of the way immediately napping with a tiny snore in order to observe. A great deal occurred while We were snoozing.Nothing occurred for some time.

Then there it was.

Too quiet.

No staff screams of “Get off the couch”

We cautiously cleared each room in accordance with C.S.I. (Cat Superior Intelligence) techniques.

We closely examined the Realm’s Frontier domains through windows that were, oddly, all open wide.

Any chance she has learned to fly? Attempting a flying leap off the roof?

It was obvious.

We confronted staff.

What has been done with Our subject, Molly the Mauler?

We, as RC of the Realm, demand answers.

Do you Dunderheads not realize Our subjects are speculating wildly?

It is rumored said Molly upset the RC and has been secretly sent away in disgrace.

We do not approve of staff shoving suspicions in Our direction!

Once again We have been forced to exhibit photos of a happy German to reassure her departure was voluntary and not exile.

We have been forced to purr subjects’ attention to the fact that  totally hyper our fondly regarded Molly was only out of sight on Tuesdays.

Once reassured, Our subjects still turned to folk tails for explanations.

Cover of Weird Tales, Sept. 1942 (US Public domaincopyright not renewed. Commons.wikimedia.org)

Some worried Molly was really a werewolf in dog’s paws.

We were able to paw-paw that nonsense. We pointed out that manically running dog beloved Molly was always safely at home at night.

Nervously, some subjects inquired if the large crate was used to keep her contained during the full moon.

Staff had mentioned it was to protect Molly from herself.

That, of course, a juvenile thought.

The teething canine This Molly forgets food is for eating – not rugs, magazines, or window sills. She is simply an idiot needing guidance – and staff must sleep sometime. We must look after their health.

Yet another pointed to once Molly reappeared each Tuesday, she was limp and unresponsive for long periods. As if totally drained.

Some inquired if Molly could be a time traveler risking energy depletion in the process.

It should be apparent how difficult Our job is.

We were able to calm those fear by pointing out that Dr. Who hasn’t visited recently and no time portals exist in the Realm.

A short venture into the always beckoning garage by Ourselves reassure them that it is simply another room of the Realm – not a mysterious black hole where things go and disappear for a while….sometimes not to return.

TARDIS. Time traveling machine (Public domain by Paul Hayes:commons.wikimedia.org)

Dr. Who was not granted permission to store a TARDIS in the garage.

We suggested perhaps Molly was simply practicing appropriate manners when in the presence of the RC.

Yes. Yes. That is a reasonable explanation for her silent still pose.

Practice makes perfect.

And We approve of this Molly’s diligence.

But now, the Tuesday occurrence seems to be repeating itself.

We, as RC and Protector of the Realm, must confront staff.

What have you done with the dog?

(Oh? A bite of yogurt offered? Yes, We shall sample.)

Now. The explanation?

Visiting with friends?

Since when did Our subject Molly gain acquaintances?

Were We consulted? No.

We would insist on references and interviews. One cannot be too careful these days.

Oh, yes We did paw wave approval of etiquette lessons – in order to civilize assist her transition to life in the Realm.

But that was never intended to be a rubber paw stamp of all suggestions.

Must I remind staff We are to be consulted in all decisions affecting our subjects?

We cannot be party to tossing her to the hounds.

Hound of Baskervilles cover (Image. Prior to 1:1:1923.US Public domain:commons.wikimedia.org)

Some packs are wild and exercise with bad judgment – excepting Our friends Rumpy, Bongo, and Pippa, of course.

Oh? Recommended by Gunther, the retired miliary dog in her manners class?

Well, he’s a specialist and has dealt with young recruits before.

Yes. We shall approve.

In fact, perhaps staff should inquire about maybe two days of group therapy for Our charming Molly.

She’s hard headed, full of energy and digging up the yard  young and needs a positive outlet for her exuberance.

The Frontier is limited and We do wish Our little Molly to have to opportunity to fully develop her skills.

Staff shall check into this.

No?

No! This is not a veiled attempt to send the constantly shedding creature poor child off to boarding school.

How absurd.

Staff may carry on.

We must return to Our napping duties.

We require the delivery of several mousies to soothe Us after getting to the bottom of this mystery.

Note: several is more than one.

Adieu.

And don’t forget to leave an open can of food in the doorway as tribute.

I am RC Cat and I approve this message.

Click sidebar tag ”RC Cat” for more of RC Cat’s correspondences and visit her Realm.

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42 Comments

  1. katecrimmins / Nov 21 2012 1:01 am

    Poor RC! It is so exhausting to rule the realm! So hard to get good help!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 21 2012 10:32 pm

      RC Cat: “My dear, how kind of you to recognize Our difficulties. We shall award a soft cheek pat. It is, after all, almost Thanksgiving. Purring you a perfect day,”

      Like

  2. writingfeemail / Nov 21 2012 1:17 am

    Pawsitively kitty royalty. We take a knee.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 21 2012 10:35 pm

      RC Cat: “Ah, your parents raised you well. We appreciate your kind words. And have entered your name into Our always welcomed book. A paw wave greeting for Thanksgiving.”

      Like

  3. jmmcdowell / Nov 21 2012 1:35 am

    RC is a wise ruler to dispel such rumors and keep peace in the realm. I hope she will accept this gift of virtual mousies as I bow respectively and take my leave.

    Like

    • jmmcdowell / Nov 21 2012 1:36 am

      er, of course, bow respectfully! The day job writing slipped in there. ;)

      Like

      • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 21 2012 10:44 pm

        RC Cat: “We understand your babbling in Our presence. We are overwhelming for most. Besides We are finding the mysteries you have penned very amusing. Our staff has been reading them to us. Our fur just stands on end in anticipation. So much talent. You must have been a cat in a previous life? Yes. No, doubt. Enthusiastic paw waves for excellent manners and encouragement.”

        Like

        • jmmcdowell / Nov 21 2012 11:43 pm

          My most humble thanks for your kind words, Your Highness. I hope the stories will continue to entertain you. And to be a cat in another life would be most intriguing….

          Like

        • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 23 2012 3:58 pm

          RC Cat: “Perhaps you shall be rewarded for your feline insights. One can only hope. We now give you leave to go and write. Quickly. We are afuzz waiting to see what happens next!”

          Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 21 2012 10:36 pm

      RC Cat: “Oh, We are quite pleased with your gift. Just so wonderful! Oh, yes, a soft cheek pat in thanks.”

      Like

  4. PiedType / Nov 21 2012 1:48 am

    Your Highness. An honor to hear from you again.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:32 pm

      RC Cat: “We are always appreciative when the mountain folk visit. We wistfully gaze at mountain cams – Staff is so slow in considering travel arrangements saying it is a long drive. But We are confident Our mousies would keep us entertained. Cheery seasonal paw wave for your kind visit”

      Like

  5. Madame Weebles / Nov 21 2012 4:19 am

    I always love hearing from RC. Happy Thanksgiving, Your Highness!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:54 pm

      RC Cat: “We appreciate your kind greetings and kind words. Staff was being pestered concerning your realm’s storm damage. Staff assured us that Le Clown had heard all were safe there. We do send comforting thoughts and your realm will be back to normal…well, as normal as possible during the holiday season …staff is such dunderheaded during December…I should go check on them…Cheery paw wave. And one additional cheery paw wave in thanks for your visit.”

      Like

  6. jannatwrites / Nov 21 2012 5:25 am

    Love the RC posts. Yes, must get back to napping duties :) (Kitties to that so well!)

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:49 pm

      RC Cat: “One must take care of Ones’self with such serious duties. We award a soft cheek pat for your astute observations.”

      Like

  7. Eagle-Eyed Editor / Nov 21 2012 5:34 am

    Your Majesty, I am glad you solved this most perplexing mystery. I wish you and others in your realm a good Thanksgiving.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:48 pm

      RC Cat: “We appreciate your kind wishes. Sending a cheery seasonal paw wave to you and your realm.”

      Like

  8. jmlindy422 / Nov 21 2012 1:32 pm

    Happy Thanksgiving to you, RC, Molly and family. Love the werewolf story image, particularly, “The Devil has Red Hair.”

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:47 pm

      RC Cat: “We are troubled the werewolf rumors were swirling through the realm. Although that story and picture did concern Us enough to double count Our mousies. But so far all is secure. Sending a cheery seasonal paw wave to your realm.”

      Like

  9. Emma / Nov 21 2012 1:43 pm

    RC is my favourite ruler.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:44 pm

      RC Cat: ” You are so kind. We award a soft cheek pat in recognition of your intelligence.”

      Like

  10. Ally Bean / Nov 21 2012 1:54 pm

    As the saying goes, cats rule, dogs drool. And clearly RC has the situation in paw. Very funny one.

    Like

  11. aFrankAngle / Nov 21 2012 2:35 pm

    Ruling cats pondering thoughts from the window throne is a wonderful reminder of the cats in my past. :) Gotta love the relaxing Molly pic!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:41 pm

      RC Cat: “We wish all realms sunshine and calm – even those without a current Resident Cat.”
      (Note from staff: “What out – there may be a cat lurking seeking a position even as we speak! That pix is one of the rare times Molly is still – either 90 mph or crashed out cold. Thanks for dropping by…don’t tell RC we added a note, please – she would be annoyed at the nerve)

      Like

  12. notedinnashville / Nov 21 2012 3:34 pm

    RC, I feel you show great restraint by allowing your staff to have all but the foot of the bed. Many cats don’t seem to understand how much space the tall people need in order to get a good sleep. After all, they need their beauty rest, they are so unattractive.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:37 pm

      RC Cat: “Ah yes, it is imperative to treat lesser creatures with kindness. We award a soft cheek pat for your insight.”

      Like

  13. littlesundog / Nov 21 2012 6:00 pm

    I LOVE the window photograph!! What a light-hearted way to begin my day… nice post, as always!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:33 pm

      RC Cat: “We share your appreciations for open windows. Just invigorating! A cheery paw wave in thanks for your visit”

      Like

  14. EllaDee / Nov 21 2012 8:39 pm

    I’m happy to see such household happenings are not beyond HRH’s notice. Your graciousness and care ensures you are held in high esteem by your loyal subjects. I also must beg your indulgence to allow me to mention you are looking particularly beautiful in the images the staff posted.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:26 pm

      RC Cat: “We appreciate your kind words – Our duties keep Us so busy We hardly have time to think of mousies and Ourselves. A cheery seasonal paw wave in gratitude”

      Like

  15. The Hook / Nov 21 2012 8:48 pm

    RC rules!
    Any post that features dogs, cats ,and the TARDIS is a winner in my books!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 24 2012 6:27 pm

      (And werewolves! Great cover pix wasn’t it?…now if only vampires had been included…..) Thanks for stopping by

      Like

  16. CATachresis / Nov 22 2012 9:53 am

    RC you give us wannabe despots hope!!

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 23 2012 4:01 pm

      RC Cat: “Austin, We are always thrilled with your visits. You do understand the difficulties We face.”

      Like

  17. roughseasinthemed / Nov 26 2012 7:29 pm

    What a very British post!! Both you, RC, and that adorable German Molly would be most welcome in our house which is rather like a Tardis. assuming there were no hounds of the Baskervilles lying in wait.

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Nov 27 2012 2:51 pm

      RC Cat: “We do Our best here in the realm – despite the difficulties. We will instruct Our staff to make a memo of your kindness. We shall allow the Molly to send bouncing greetings to Pippa…and shall send a cheery paw wave from a safe distance.”

      Like

  18. Sunshine / Dec 20 2012 4:39 am

    A big paw fiver to: C.S.I. (Cat Superior Intelligence) techniques … this is awesome!! :)

    Like

    • philosophermouseofthehedge / Dec 20 2012 3:27 pm

      And she’s determined to get to the bottom of yet another disruption…..but needs a nap first…Thanks for the holiday high paw!

      Like

      • Sunshine / Dec 21 2012 6:32 am

        Naps are always A-1!

        Like

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