Driven wild, wildly driven, or driven into the wild?
A secret attempt to integrate Zombies into the mainstream?
OK, not one has actually died with this (yet), but it’s lumbering forward.
Lights are on; nobody’s home….but they are going there in style or into the wild (depends on who you talk to)
No one’s in the driver’s seat.
Well, that’s not quite right at this point, there has to be a body there (Zombies’ jobs program!).
Will they shortly eliminate the driver’s seat to insure passengers don’t interfere?
Will the driver’s seat disappear like passenger seats in some trucks to prevent the temptation to pick up hitchhikers?
(Oh, that may have been a secret agreement between trucking companies and the FBI. Who knows how many hitchhiker lives have been saved by eliminating the “shotgun” seat.)
Anyway, back to the body of knowledge.
California is now bumper to bumper with Nevada (not surprised, always a gambler) and Florida (with all the seniors and gators there, no brainer…..the concept, not the seniors and gators)
Governor Jerry Brown, State Sen. Alex Padilla, and Google Co-founder Sergey Brin whisked to Google Inc. headquarters in Google modified Prius for a signing ceremony for the sci-fi bill SB 1298 which lets self-driving cars insert themselves onto public roads.
No acknowledged Zombies being willing to risk it, Google engineer Chris Urmson sat in the driver’s seat. But he swears it wasn’t a hands-on situation. The Prius, already a smug vehicle, drove itself.
People are raving! (See, there is common ground with zombies).
Self-driven cars are what Americans need, says Brin.
Congestion can be relieved as self-controlled cars can slip stream like Tour de France bikers.
(No, don’t even start those videos of all the 2012 dramatic bike crashes…).
Let’s not even bring up NASCAR slipstreams and wrecks…that’s on a track anyway – so not real life….all that mass x speed = force, stored up energy and rolling cars and all)
These cars are self controlled. Bound to better than humans with their road rage issues.
And besides so much better if all able to take advantage of auto transportation: the blind, the elderly, the totally fall down drunks…don’t forget the movie starlets! All safely delivered to their destination – with no pedestrian lives lost!
(Ignore all the public demands for bullet trains and commuter mass transportation)
We are a nation of drivers!
A little thing like emails from the office or texting doesn’t slow us down…
Hmm, companies might be willing to underwrite driverless cars. Employees could safely do productive work while going to and from the office?
Better lives through technology!
Technology has the cool factor!
(Just run anti-virus program frequently. And prosecute hackers with…uh, reckless driving?)
Shiny new toys!
Speaking of toys, here’s one that’s eventually bound to be a hit.
(Car related, so hope the hit isn’t the fender crunching kind)
Google says the driverless cars won’t run lights. (See, big benefit! Insurance companies in love already.)
Poor slow-witted humans do. (Honestly, they can’t stop themselves.)
Now there’s a smartphone app for that!
Cars are revving their engines over this one already. (Even the zombie driven)
Developed by MIT, the app will let drivers know when a light is about to change and what speed the car needs to go to make the light. The app will reveal how fast a driver needs to go to cruise non-stop down the road and make all the lights!
It will save gas eliminating all the stopping and starting. Traffic flow could greatly improve.
(Seeing a marketing trend here? Oh, So off base with that. All for the common good and all.)
The app will pry those smartphones out of
zombie drivers’ hands since the phone camera must be dashboard mounted to “read” transition signal information from traffic lights.
(Think of the fun! A new travel game for the kids: will the app guess right or not?)
And keeping us safer!
No more handheld texting by drivers
No more rushing blindly to make the light. (unless the blind are in a self driven car, then technically it would be running blind)
Two auto innovations with lots of potential.
(Think of the potential comedy scripts. And a new industry for vacation mystery tours. Lawyers? Hmmm, don’t know..)
The feds will surely be insisting. Manufacturers will definitely be charging.
Oh Google, “Don’t be evil”, we know and trust you.
You’ve kindly brought
stalkers us maps and internet fun.
Who could live without those frozen street-pictured slices of life – like people waving guns?
Google co-founder Sergey Brin points out how drivers waste all that air and space on the roads: front to back, and side to side. Innovations with technology can keep cars zooming closer together - and more safely than humans ever could (including experts like Danica Patrick and Jay Leno).
Yep, get those cars running inches apart in very narrow lanes. It might be better for zombie drivers.
More importantly, it will be easier to read a message in the car’s passenger window: “Help! I’m being held captive by my self driven car!”
On autopilot (with images of Weeble-shaped passengers),
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge
- “Holy Crap, Self-driving Cars Are Now Legal in California”. Gizmodo article. Read how Google’s Brin says how driverless cars will improve society. Really. Self-driven cars will save us all. Read this one. (Marketing. Marketing!)
- “Gov. Brown Gives Green Light to driverless Cars In California”. Reuters article.
- “Greatest Smartphone App of All Time Helps You Beat Red Lights”. Jalopnik article. Excitement over the app which will end congestion and lower fuel consumption….Yeah, that’s why people are excited about this app.
- “SignalGuru app helps drivers avoid red lights” Reuters article.
FYI: Intel Corp chip creators created a $100 million fund to speed investment of future auto technology (Feb, 2012) Very interesting, but funny? Maybe, maybe not.
- “Intel capital to Invest in Future of Automotive Technology” Newsroom.intel.com. News from big chip’s mouth.
- “Intel Will Spend $100M to Make Your Car ‘the Ultimate Mobile Device’”. Business Journals Digital Network/Business Times. “..seamless connection between vehicles and any connected device”