No invitation, Cat Ah Pilar
We are squinting an angry face at the bush.
Staff has been discussing something in the foliage.
We overheard talk of seeing a Cat Ah Pilar.
We would think Spanish – with perhaps a Siamese relative somewhere accounting for the middle name?
A cat of mystery.
Vigilant for some time, but nothing has been spotted. Not fur sighted.
We have not issued any formal invitations.
We have not heard any catcalls – much less responded.
We have received no envoys offering tribute mousies in order to seek Our Approval for safe passage across our domain.
So We must consider the possibility of invasion and prepared for conflict.
If said Pilar has been living rough who knows how many kittens scurry behind her.
Not to mention scrawny battle-scarred suitors eager to impress trailing in her wake.
Perhaps said Pilar has sniffed the absence of the German and decided there is a vacancy.
This Cat Ah Pilar feels her mysterious appearance will enchant Us into letting her saunter right inside unchallenged?
Our residence may offer closed windows to the world, but We are not complacent.
We shall stiffen Our fur to full fluff.
And prepare Our pounding paws.
We are quite capable of turning any intruder into a Cat-of-pulp!
Set a paw upon Our porch and be catstounded, Cat Ah Pilar!
We tired of searching the bush for Cat Ah Pilar.
And the staff’s chatter continues to interrupt our claim of thought.
Something to do with Cat A Tonic.
Must be one of those new health drinks.
It is odd .
We do not understand how Our contemplative defensive pose here could possibly remind them of a health supplement drink.
Simply nothing in common.
An appearance to staff is in order to reaffirm that menus have already been approved.
Yes, sitting upon the grocery cat-a-list seems to get their attention. Good.
Now where is my cat-a-comb?
We wish to be smoothed and soothed.
It is embarrassing to look so much like a rumpled cat-a-log.
You may adore Us for short time.
Then, unfortunately, We must draft a response to that insulting letter sent by the German – the one with all those unfounded accusations.
I delayed until my distress abated.
Such a way to reward the numerous occasions We graciously extended Our paw to the German.
As RC Cat of the realm, We sometimes face difficult situations.
But that for later.
We shall notify you when We wish to dictate correspondence.
Now, a mousie, adoration, and a cat-a-comb.
You may sing softly.
Yes. A little under the chin – and to the left …
No, We are not drooling.
Insolence will not be tolerated
We are not amused.
Our paw has waved.
A wise attendant would be tiptoeing out quietly now!
Wait! We require you to stand watch for that Cat Ah Pilar.
If intercepted, send that Pilar creature back to – to Catagonia or Cataland or wherever.
We do not care.
Oh, and pack that Cat A Tonic to go with her.
Perhaps she will gain something.
No A List Cat would ever be found skulking in bushes.
Fuzzy thinking, Cat Ah Pilar!
(Pull those drapes. We do not wish to view the bush any longer.)
Unpaw those mousies immediately!
We prefer them spread across the floor in that pattern – done by design.
For meditation purposes.
We could not expect you understand. Still, some learn by example.
You have Our permission to withdraw.
And don’t forget to leave an open can of food in the doorway as tribute.
I am RC Cat and I approve this message.
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