Purrloined correspondence of pawsible interest
Dear furry creature with a superiority delusion HRH RC Cat,
There. I got that right, see?
Please note my wagging the tail of plotting and scheming friendship and kindness.
Greetings to you who waves claw without any reason.
Just wanted to let you know I have settled in quite happily here. It is definitely an upgrade with multiple sunny windows so snort to you, sun hog.
Continuing in the spirit of reaching across the childgate in peace, I am imploring your assistance with tips on how to get along with your distant elderly relative, Granny.
She seems hostile and frequently annoyed and is making that scary cougar face at me.
I cannot fathom why.
Why?
Granny has claimed a mini-fiefdom in the roomy bathroom. Which is so unfair as I cannot rummage through the bathroom garbage unobserved now. Being amenable to her wishes, Person has place all Granny’s stuff in there: bed, litter box, entertainment items, and food bowl. I have been told not to trespass.
Obviously that silly directive must be ignored.
How else could I sample Granny’s food to make sure it isn’t tainted? You can’t be too sure these days, so I sample multiple times a day.
I have even mastered unlatching the door which for some odd reason is slammed in my face closed frequently.
I’ve heard it said that the elderly get depressed from isolation and hope my efforts prevent Granny from getting too comfortable and sleeping in peace experiencing that.
I offered to assist Granny by digging up and scarfing monitoring contents of her litter box – as soon as I can puzzle off that snail-like dome.
But she rudely snarled as I attempted to demonstrate.
Perhaps I should have waited until she exited the facility?
But I was concerned as she had been in there for some time.
Determined to congenially share our abode, I attempted once again to win Granny over.
Well, actually she rolled over and out – of her cuddly bed during the effort.
Thinking an invitation to visit my very favorite spot would delight her, I jerked up her bed and ran wildly around the living room tossing it in the air gently tugged her bed into the living room and placed it with great deference in front of the TV.
Once noticing she had declined the transport assist, I quietly approached her huddled form on the bathmat. I mentioned Animal Planet was on and there was front row seat reserved for her.
It occurred to me that she might also want a toy to amuse her – during the commercials only – as I knew she would be infuriated enchanted by the program. So I selected a soft item which she seemed to favor and raced into the living room.
Unfortunately, that item became a little soggy and mushy.
Seeing it in that condition would only upset her.
I decided to gobble that down to considerately hide the evidence disturbing situation.
To save her nerves.
Promising myself to be more cautious, I returned to the bathroom lair boudoir.
With no provocation, Granny launched herself at my face like a mutant squid: spitting and puncturing.
Person interceded fortunately.
I retreated to the living room after being shrilly yelled at for no reason commended for my thoughtfulness.
My elevated seating choice of the couch done out of consideration in case Granny felt more sociable and decided to take that front row seat on the floor.
Sadly, she declined. She never even got the chance to realize I had chosen a special selection for her viewing pleasure: “The Cat from Hell.”
So I am seeking your advice. because only another annoying cat can figure this one out
I fondly think of all the happy times we shared during that territorial campaign my stay.
Thank you for your time and assistance in this matter.
Paws for peace,
The German
PS. Before shredding this note, please realize I have discovered multiple blackmail quality incriminating photos elegant portraits of your grouchiness your Highness stealing, confiscating, reserving for herself harboring Granny’s missing stash of mousies. I find it very odd that said mousies did not make the last trip. Interpret that as you wish.
Wet Nose bump in I’ve got the upper paw with this friendship.
Just purr to perplexity.
The German
I saw what you did….and be warned: if this photo is destroyed, there are others. So chew on that.
Read more from RC Cat or the German’s saga: Click the sidebar tags: “RC Cat” or “German Shepherd”
Well, the German seems to be back to his old spunky self! Good to hear although my cats thought he could use a good whacking!
We get pictures occasionally – and she looks mischievous. That poor old cat! Thanks for rolling over to chat
Oh, that is one brave dog. Cats are very talented at getting even in the most creative ways.
The German is very energetic and gregarious – the cat is old, wants her routine, and to sleep in the sun…but she has her limits! Granny may be tiny, but she’s got claws and is not afraid to use them on ma or beast! Thanks for pawsing to chat
I miss German, but I’m glad the new home is good for sunning. As for dealing with the feline species, I don’t know if even another cat can help out – each one is finicky in his or her own way (and men say women are complicated. Hmpf.)
Even RC is wary of Granny. The dowager has seen it all and is too tired to put up with it! Thanks for bouncing by.
Oh, dear. Poor old Granny looks just a touch put-upon. As for the German – well, what can I say? Moved in, took over, rules the roost – or so it looks from here!
The German is totally oblivious to Granny’s plaintive looks of “WHY? WHY?” (somehow every shot of that cat has exactly the same expression on her face…it’s like someone photoshopped her head on all the poses.)
A little less humidity today…for maybe 30 seconds – but it’s better! And the angle of the sun is changing…now if the mosquitoes would all just die off….are they carrying you off?
Thanks for buzzing in
Love the German. We are cat challenged, as in our cat challenges us daily to live within his parameters. We feed him; he leaves us alone. We miss a feeding? He breaks our things.
Granny may be tiny and ancient – but she has claws and knows how to use them.
A cat adopts you and everyone’s happy – until you realize what that means….they suck you in with that cute furry thing, then, for years you are trying to appease them…with limited success.
Thanks for stomping over!
Dear The German,
I went to the best source of cat wisdom I know. Dr Seuss advises –
“Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.”
“And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We cannot pick it up.
There is no way at all!”
You might just have to settle for unrequited affection, and age-old wisdom “To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
All the best, EllaDee
Some of the best advice ever – thanks for digging that up. Will relay it immediately as RC’s advice may not be quite so realistic. THe German is just a girl who wants to have fun..and granny just wants to sleep in the sun.
A video cam would probably show they get along fine if not competing for Person’s attention.
Thanks so much for the verse!
Please convey to the German that we grannies can be a crotchety lot, irritable and easily annoyed for no apparent reason (sometimes not even to ourselves). It’s not to be taken personally, even if our claws in your face make it seem that way.
Oddly the German doesn’t seem to hold a grudge – she honestly seems to like the cat – but is bewildered by the responses. Thanks for the advice and will bark it along!
Pippa sends a snose and a big smile to The German. Has the German tried chasing this cat? Pippa always thinks that is a good solution when faced with a cat, although, it has to be said, he
wouldn’t dream ofhasn’t lived with a cat. Are we going to see a reply from RC Cat?From the German to Pippa: “Chasing is the most fun if there are mid-level height escape corridors the cat can jump between so cat thinks there is hope. HA! The thrill of the chase. Owning a cat has its’ benefit – but borrowing a neighbor’s is equally fun.”
Oh, RC apparently will snarl a reply – she is bouncing between looking paranoid (something about mousies) and swatting at staff for intercepting correspondence.
Thanks for stamping a response and sending it over
Hmmmm! It is possible Granny’s European ancestors remember the last unpleasantness when there were Germans invading all over the place!! One can understand her initial reluctance to having her personal space invaded again. Maybe there should be some “piece a cord” introduced to bring some restraint while negotiations are proceeding?
Hmmm. Possibly right there. Granny does mutter something about “seen one German, you’ve seen them all.”
A piece-a-cord works Ok because it means Person is attached and isn’t able to give Granny attention. The German likes that solution!
Thanks for tying into the dailogue
Sometimes being a pet seems like a pretty nice life.
Pets seem to train their owners pretty well. THanks for trotting over
Gorgeous pics. I’m on the German’s side
Who could not be on the side of the pup that tries so heard to be friends? Thanks for stopping to bark!
Oh, poor German, having to deal with a cougar face kitty! Lol! I love the paw for peace, aww, Granny should give up the fight and ‘make love, not war!’
Granny can make quite a cougar face – but everyone’s always moving out of reach too fast to get a picture of it! (She just hates that wet dog nose on the back move.) They are probably best friends when no one is around. Thanks for clawing your way over here
Brilliant writing!~!!!!!
and oh, my gosh…what an exciting life you all live!!!!!
Sweetie sends his regards and some peaceful purrs.
Yep, sounds like it’s a bark a minute there. (RC plans to dictate a response….but there are mousies to entertain right now. She did sent a soft cheek pat to Sweetie.) Thanks for rolling over!