Again and again. It rings.
Jolted by the ring tone. Not family or friend. Logic and reasoning fleeing. Only anxiety remains. A glance out of the corner of the eye confirms: it’s 4:30 pm – that’s when it starts. A lab mouse would commence shaking. Is huddling in a wingback chair comparable? The threat is there: 24 inches away.
Maybe shove that phone in a drawer?
Leave the house without it?
No, that would mean being dangerously unaccompanied.
Maybe set the voice mail to pick up faster? Not that any message is usually left. Is that better – or worse? No information left – Only imagination pounding wild.
Quiet.
Gingerly picking up the phone – just to check.
(Ready to throw, if it blazes to life.)
Like the Caller ID would blurt out any answers: all that spoofing of innocent looking numbers. A call from “Beverly Hills”? How interesting. What are the chances Paris Hilton finally decided to call? What? We’ll have to do lunch?
Phone still silent.
Heavy in hand. 4:30.
(How soon before another one?)
What jeering phone number would it be? Seattle? No, that was yesterday. Washington, DC? Dallas? Chicago? A bizarre parade already registered. Never repeated. Sometimes simply “Unknown Caller.”
Why? Why the abrasive intrusion?
There’s been no encouragement. No conversation.
Oh, at first, a couple of times answered by mistake.
After a frantic run down the hall.
Or not checking the caller ID.
Or expecting a call – a friendly call.
No blame there.
Blame? (Shiver.)
Coward.
It’s only a phone call.
Everyday between 4:30 and 5:30. (Don’t they eat dinner?)
Searching mind for an explanation.
There’s none.
It’s like Bambi being stalked by a ruthless killer: innocence cornered by evil.
But it’s just a call. (Maybe shut the blinds, though?)
The phone dances on the table as it rings again.
The screen jeers with “Chicago”.
Not a victim! NO!
Finger stabbing to answer with anger and resolve.
Hysterically yelling, “Stop calling. Who are you?”
Only to be met with that chilling mechanical voice, “Hel-lo, this is a quick O-pin-i-on Poll a-bout the up-com-ing pres-i-den-ti-al el-ec-tion…”
With months still to go,
Phil, the Philosopher Mouse if the Hedge.
I may take an extended European vacation during this election season. The onslaught is horrific and if it’s starting already, we’re in for a long irritating campaign. Yikes!
That’s not a bad idea…really annoying already. Thanks for adding that idea!
I tend to set my ringer to silent. I respond to voicemails and texts as convenient. Most people know to email me. Also answering the phone saying “What?!” tends to discourage calls. As has been my experience.
It’s amusing we are getting bombarded with these calls. Usually my phone is in the last room I was in a while ago – so I never hear it anyway – but all these add numbers are in “missed calls list”…always at 4:30. Their marketing people need to rethink? Thanks for throwing those ideas into the hat
I’m lucky in that I don’t have a landline and haven’t received many calls on my cell, but then again, I never answer it unless it’s my mom or my Latin lover. Okay, just my mom. Anyway, I was ready for this election season to be done two years ago. It’s ridiculous. I’ll vote for the candidate that refuses to implement cold calls, yard signs, horrible commerials, etc. and instead uses the millions of dollars to actually fund the things that need money. You know, like education, health care and my mortgage.
I rarely got odd cell calls ( no landline for years) until the political campaigns started heating up. I think we should run you for office. Thanks for stopping by
If I don’t recognize the number, I rarely answer. If it’s that important to talk to me, they can leave a message! Funny, none of those callers ever do…. Oh for the elections to be over and done with.
I’m notorious for being unreachable – email / text is the best shot. (Lived the rat race too long: attached to work 24-7. Jettisoned that.) Thanks for picking up the call!
This is my pet peeve, one notch above the people who keep leaving flyers on my door just two inches away from the sign that politely asks them not to. I think I’ll book a flight with writingfeemail. I nearly went mad during the 2010 elections.
Arrrrgh. Why do we need all the paper flyers these days anyway – like phone books! (Hey maybe we can work up a charter to somewhere?) Thanks for winging by to chat
There are just one or two advantages to not having my mom around any more. One is not having to endure the nightly discussion: Who are these people who are calling me? Why won’t they tell me their name? Why don’t they answer my questions? Why do they never stop talking? Why do they want me to press buttons? What happens if I do press a button?
Why don’t you just hang up? I always asked.
That wouldn’t be polite, she’d say. That’s right. She was of the generation where you always were polite on the phone, even to a wrong number.
My dad was the same way – so polite, but confused as to why they were calling….and all the “press one for” complaints. I think it was a blessing when he really didn’t hear the phone ring. Thanks for adding to the conversation
Good one! My husband engages them, ensures the caller he will vote for whoever it is they are calling about and we never hear from that campaign again. Bliss.
These are robo computer calls – no people – just conducting polls. We are surprised we get them on the cell phones – and that they call just before primaries. Thank goodness for Caller ID. AS the election gets closer, your strategy might be the way to go! Thanks for mentioning that
Oh, these phone calls drive me NUTS (not a long drive…)! I don’t answer the phone, but I end up with a collection of voicemails to delete. I just wish they weren’t exempt from the Do Not Call Registry
Do not call list should include them for sure. Thanks for bringing that up
Hel-lo, PHIL, this is a quick( BLOG COMMENT)O-pin-i-on Poll a-bout the up-com-ing pres-i-den-ti-al el-ec-tion…”
hello… PHIL? You there??
please answer. . .
sorry, couldn’t resist PHIL.
heeehee
What a great comment. Thanks for answering the call.(can you get the next one,too? I could just forward to your phone? Please?) Thanks for speaking up.
Don’t ever change your style, my friend! You are uniquely gifted…
So don’t listen to all those managers never got my sense of humor? (what dull people they were) Thanks for the encouragement
We don’t have a home phone. Jen decided there was no point in paying for the privilege of having politicians and telemarketers harass her.
Our cell phones have been safe from stupid calls until just recently. Something’s changed. Most irritating. So checking that Caller ID more frequently…unless it’s 4:30…then we know who it is. Thanks for trotting over Rumpy – hope you get to go outside and romp today
We have an older Aunt staying with us & I cannot get through to her “DONT pick up if you dont know the number or its a 800 / 866 call !!!!!!” She’s the only one that uses the land line, but then keeps passing off these calls to me. Ugh. I believe God could forsee telemarketers and invented cell phones & answering machines.
By the way, this is one of my favorites !
Sounds so familiar:”Dad, just don’t pick it up – don’t talk with them”…never stopped. Glad this amused you – thanks for ringing in.
I love your prose! Excellent writing!
There was a time when someone’s fax machine kept calling our number. It had been set on automatic dial, so every time we answered, it would wait 5 minutes and dial again! Insane!
Nothing more fun than a determined fax machine. Glad you dialed in today, thanks!
That is SO weird. My phone just rang as I read this. From my dear old friend “BLOCKED.” I haven’t talked to “BLOCKED” in ages…
Possibly he was Unknown for a bit? (It must be a plot against us all?) Thanks for putting things on hold in order to visit!
I love it! Humor, suspense and reality all in one! Thanks for sharing made me Smile!
Glad you found it amusing. Thanks for stopping by to chat
You know when I have my phone at my side I hate it! But without it I’m checking for it all the time like a norvous addict. Personal problems brought about modern need to stay connected. Note to self… Question.. ” connected to what?”
All the best.
Phones are such a nag. Without one, you might miss out on that call from that Foreign Lottery (you never entered, but won anyway!). Maybe our nervous system have become dependent on the auxiliary electrical input? Hmmm. step away from that power source – uh, phone….Thanks for shedding some light on all this.
I want their address so I can send them prayer cards about saving their souls…;) tit for tat
oooo. That’s good (but these have been robocalls by machines – offer to save them from future recycling? Would that work?) Thanks for thinking of that possibility
I’m always afraid to answer my phone when it lights up with “Uknown Caller”.
Yeah, these days Unknown Callers can be unnerving. Thanks for mentioning that.
Move to the UK. By law it can only last a matter of 3 or 4 weeks! Also, no one really cares as we have already been preprofiled by the dreaded market researchers!
Limited campaign period! Now there’s an idea worth copying! Thanks for your ideas! (Now how many people did you say could stay with you during the onslaught?)
I never ever answer my phone if I don’t know the number and yes, it’s aggravating that now I’ve had a couple on my cell phone.
Oh, no! They have your number, too? WIth luck they will move on to another soon. Thanks for adding your experience.
I get ringing – or buzzing – because I play Words With Friends way too much. At least my husband thinks so.
Playing Words with Friends is ‘way better than Guess which pollster is calling now! Glad you mentioned that! Thanks
Blaaaargh!!!!!
So aggravating!!!
((((hugs))))
This is one area in which I’m happy to be too poor to be up-to-date. My cell phone is from 1997, for emergencies only. And the landline goes straight to machine; no caller I.D. here; friends and family know to just yell, “Pick up!!!!” when they call…LOL!
GREAT post!!!!!
Love your phone system with “yelling”. It makes sure only highly motivated callers get through. Thanks for dialing in!